In sales, business, and life, the ability to keep your emotions in check isn’t just a skill—it’s a weapon. You’ve probably been there: the big presentation is minutes away, the deal’s hanging by a thread, and your internal monologue is running wild. What if I told you there’s a simple way to not just quiet that noise but turn it into your secret weapon? That’s where third-person self-talk comes in, a strategy backed by neuroscience and proven to keep you focused and clear-headed.
This isn’t some woo-woo mindfulness trick. It’s science. A study published in Scientific Reports shows that referring to yourself in the third person—yes, like you’re narrating your own documentary—creates psychological distance. That distance helps you think more clearly, manage your emotions, and stay calm under pressure without burning extra mental energy. Let’s break this down and see how it connects with what I teach in Shut the Hell Up and Sell.
Why Third-Person Self-Talk Works
You already know that managing emotions is part of the job in sales and entrepreneurship. Whether you’re negotiating, pitching, or closing, staying emotionally steady gives you the upper hand. The study showed that when people referred to themselves in the third person (e.g., “Ronnell’s got this” instead of “I’ve got this”), their brains lit up differently. Emotional reactivity went down, and they didn’t have to flex extra mental muscles to stay cool.
Why does this work? Simple: you’re not just you—you’re also the coach on the sidelines. When you talk about yourself as if you’re someone else, it’s like stepping back and looking at the game objectively. You see the whole field. You stop reacting and start leading. And guess what? Leading yourself is the first step to leading others.
Selling is Emotional Work—Control It
In Shut the Hell Up and Sell, I hammer home that sales isn’t about you—it’s about them. But here’s the rub: if your emotions are running wild, you’ll make it about you every time. You’ll talk too much, react too quickly, and miss the signals your prospect is giving you.
When I say, “Silence is golden,” it’s not just about letting your client talk. It’s about controlling what’s happening inside you. If you’re sitting in a meeting thinking, “I’m nervous,” you’re stuck in the weeds of your own head. Instead, flip the script: “[Your Name] is in control. [Your Name] is prepared. [Your Name] is going to nail this.”
It’s not just a pep talk; it’s an anchor. And when you’re anchored, you’re free to focus on the customer and make them the star.
Make This Part of Your Process
Here’s the thing: third-person self-talk isn’t something you pull out only when the heat’s on. It’s a tool you weave into your daily routine, just like the other strategies I teach.
1. Prep Like a Pro: Before your big pitch or negotiation, practice. Don’t just run through the numbers—run through your mindset. Instead of saying, “I hope I don’t screw this up,” say, “[Your Name] knows what they’re doing. They’ve done the work, and it’s going to show.”
2. Stay Calm in the Storm: When a deal starts slipping or a prospect throws a curveball, don’t let your first instinct take over. Instead of “I can’t believe this is happening,” say, “[Your Name] can handle this. They’ve seen tougher situations before.”
3. Reflect and Reset: After a tough day, don’t beat yourself up. You know I’m all about learning from the misses. So instead of “I should’ve done better,” try, “[Your Name] learned something today that’ll make them sharper tomorrow.”
It’s Not About Tricks; It’s About Fundamentals
You know how I feel about overcomplicating sales. Fundamentals win every time. This is one of those tools that’s deceptively simple but incredibly powerful because it aligns with the fundamentals I teach. Control your emotions. Stay present. Focus on the customer. Third-person self-talk doesn’t replace your work ethic, your preparation, or your skills—it enhances them.
The beauty of this strategy is its simplicity. It’s like that perfect glazed donut I talk about in Shut the Hell Up and Sell. No fluff, no over-the-top decorations—just fundamentals done right. The result? A tool that’s easy to implement and delivers big results when it matters most.
Your Move
Sales, business, life—none of it comes with a script. But here’s the good news: you’ve got the ability to write your own. The next time you feel the pressure rising, step outside yourself. Look at the situation like you’re the coach in the corner. Give yourself the kind of advice you’d give your top performer.
Talk to yourself like a pro. “[Your Name] is ready. [Your Name] has got this.” Because when you can lead yourself, you’re unstoppable.
About Ronnell Richards
Ronnell Richards is a sales powerhouse, entrepreneur, and award-winning author of Shut the Hell Up and Sell. With over two decades of experience spanning industries, Ronnell has built a career on simplifying the art of sales, blending timeless fundamentals with modern strategies. As a dynamic speaker, LinkedIn Learning instructor, and the creator of the Business & Bourbon platform, he’s mentored countless sales professionals and entrepreneurs, helping them elevate their skills and redefine success.
Ronnell’s passion lies in cutting through the noise—no fluff, no gimmicks—just real talk and actionable advice. From coaching business leaders to collaborating with global giants like Google and Meta, Ronnell brings an unrivaled blend of expertise and authenticity to every stage.
When he’s not coaching or inspiring others, you’ll find Ronnell championing diversity in business, sipping bourbon, or sharing hard-earned wisdom through his engaging podcast and live events. His mantra? Sales isn’t about pushing products—it’s about connection, trust, and showing up with purpose.
Connect with Ronnell to learn how to sell smarter, lead better, and enjoy the journey.
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